You Have To Overcome Addiction On Your Own

I watched her in her environment. Surrounded by friends and peers who didn’t hide the fact that they worshipped the ground that she walked on. I knew that they seen her just as I did, perfect. Not just in looks but in personality as well, something that rarely happened in the selfish world that we inhabited today. I watched on as she complimented someone’s shoes and helped another. I yearned for her as she breathed life and positivity into those around her.

She laughed at something that was said and it took everything in me not to walk over and take in some of her infectious energy. To walk over and just hear the harmony of her voice that I’d gotten used to this last year.

I had become dependent on her being the decider of my emotions for the day. I was used to her pulling me out of my slump and reminding me that I am my own person and that I have value in this world.

I wanted to, once again, feel her soft fingers massaging my scalp as I cried my hurt into her lap. I wanted to experience life the way that she did, filled with sunshine and rainbows.

Looking down at the pamphlet in my hand my throat tightened at the same time my fingers tightened around the papers. The pamphlet was my ticket back into her presence and while I wanted that more than anything, I was afraid.